Repetitions of a Broken Mind
by 8ADW01F
Summary: A man and a woman are universes away, with hope of reunion far gone from their minds. Both suffer great losses with nothing but despair filling their shattered hearts and one loses the will to go on. And yet by miracle, they have the chance to reunite only to run out of time as the life of one becomes the death of another. Her child of light is his only saviour now.
1. Pain

**AN: Hey guys, so I decided this one-shot series thing wasn't working. It was too disjointed and lacked fluency as well as thinning out the story depth. So finally after my inner debate, I'm making my one-shot into a fully fleshed out story. The writing is still the same but I'll be now updating this through this story. Chapter 3 will come soon. It still needs editing but it'll get there. Anyway! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer****: I do not own Doctor Who or anything related and it crushes my dreams and tears me to pieces. I'm going to go die in a hole now. But enjoy!**

She was alone...with an empty heart. Nothing was ever more suffering than the pain she felt from the utter loneliness inside of her; not even the throbbing burn in her back competed with her despair. Her gasps of grief and sorrow could not be heard in the echoes of the night; silenced by the cold and still streets of the dead town. She was feeling the stabs of the chilly air, making her shiver awfully on the harsh concrete. Tears were streaming down her face, perspiration dripping off her clammy skin as her huddled body trembled with gut-wrenching sobs. A terrible scream ripped through her throat as the agony of her loss and it's reminder became too much for her to bear. The trauma was still fresh, the torment insufferable. She could not hold a single thought in her raging mind. The ringing in her head was too loud and yet all she could hear was silence. She absolutely hated it.

'_Why?'_

It was the only word that had rung through her thoughts. It was her plead to the universe, a cry for the one thing that never seemed to last; happiness. Why is the universe always against her and having happiness! Everything it gives to her always get torn apart.

Another sharp pain coursed through her body. The time was approaching and she wasn't ready. She wouldn't be able to handle it. She was too consumed by her grief, too lost in her own mind to even comprehend the physical endurance and pain that was yet to come. The damp ground soaked her body with nippy, bitter chills but she didn't care. Her heart ached too much to even notice the discomfort. She was choking on her own tears, her throat constricting the air that was being taken in.

How did it come to this? It was never meant to be this way! He promised. He-

_Images of past events flew through her mind. The unrestrained pictures of blood, violence, terror and war all painted into her head with the final impression of a familiar body falling lifelessly to the death ridden battlefield-_

"No! No! Make it stop!" Her dry shriek pierced the frozen air. It did nothing to stop the onslaught coming onto her mind.

_"Doctor!" The fear inside her was tearing her limb from limb. The daunting realisation haunted the very essence of her being. Her blood froze in her veins as she dived desperately for the fallen body, the cries of other victims and their loved ones surrounding her._

_"Please! Please! You can't! S'not fair! You promised!" The sound of her heart shattering overwhelmed her as the sight of the lifeless body, in which was the man she so dearly loved, dominated her perception. The once vigorous and excitable man whom abhorred violence and conflict of any kind, whom once strived to do the impossible in order to keep peace in the entire universe was laying in her arms perished, gone. Her husband, her love, the father of her-_

She gasped in realisation. The daunting prospect on what she was about to go through. The physical distress in her body now became very evident as spasms of pain tore throughout her entire figure.

"Ahhhh!"

The severe burning of her aching body filled every sensation that she could feel. The screams of her agony echoed relentlessly in the cold and still night, shaking it's very nature. Her muscles throbbed, bones became lead and her heart pumped laboriously. Her breaths were becoming heavy as she tried to desperately gasp onto the cool midnight air. All she could think of was how she didn't want do this alone. It wasn't suppose to end up like this.

Pain. All she could feel was pain. White hot burning torment ripping through her body as she suddenly had the sensation to push. It was an internal instinct, a reaction to the excruciating preparation towards all of this. It was a deep impulse, something that ravaged through her and filled her with a purpose despite her overwhelming misery. With new founded determination, she used every last bit of her strength in her body to push. Deep guttural shouts escaped her throat as the searing torture from the push scarred her body and shredded her to pieces. The seconds felt like days as she endured as much as she could through the endless strain. She then exhausted and came to a stop.

Nothing happened.

She heaved wearily, her limbs turning to jelly from the exertion. She was exhausted, sore and giving up quite quickly. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He was meant to be here. He promised.

Immense pain shot through her once again. She seized her swollen stomach in haste. Groaning and screaming chaos emitted from her; that pushing sensation pouring over her entirely again. She was weak, drained and lacked willpower to push through. Her body lagged and she whimpered in distress. She was surrendering, giving up on trying. It was too much for her. There was no hope left for her to capture. Agony, burning and suffering were devouring her body. Her heart was already broken.

She needed a hand to hold. _His_ hand.

She needed a soothing voice to hear. _His_ voice.

She needed a supportive person to lean on. _Him_.

She needed a doctor. _Her_ Doctor.

"Please! Please! No! Oh! Please!" Her cries would make anyone with a heart shatter into a billion pieces. The pushing sensation could not be stopped. Her body was ignoring what her mind was telling it. The tiny amount of energy left within her was diverted entirely to pushing one final time. She was losing time. Her heart struggled with the physical labor. Her breaths were straggled. Sweat was dripping off her forehead. The muscles in her limbs contracting strenuously. Something was building up inside of her. Energy hidden away, multiplying by the thousands in the tension of her stomach and back. It was coming. The final push.

All she could think of was how alone she was. How entirely empty she felt. The strain was unbearable. She didn't want to feel anymore; didn't want to feel the agony, the loss, the grief, the pain, the suffering, the hurt, the isolation, the hollowness. The heat of terror and of suffering drowned herself completely. Cold, prickly needles poked at her body and it burned like she was being sizzled by a scorching iron rod. She couldn't suppress it any longer. She bursted in a deafening screech.

The howl of anguish could be heard by every mother in the infinite universe, their eyes watered with unknown tears of sorrow and sympathy. The entire universe hurt with the pain and agony being felt by the young, broken woman. It wept throughout all time and space in one horridly atrocious moment. The dogs howled, the babies wailed, the trees withered and the stars dulled in response to the sorrowful event. The universe grieved at the loss of its most precious pink and yellow human. The birth of one is the loss of another.

* * *

One man gasped in dread at the crushing melancholy tearing through time and space. He felt the hurting stars, the misery of the galaxies and the distress his ship was yielding. His hearts sunk at the aching that the entire universe sung out. His mind was filled with anarchy and chaos, crumbling with every ominous feeling and emotion. He clutched his head urgently at the fiery pain and terror struck him. Tears were starting to fall from his red rimmed eyes. He whimpered from the anxiety of the commotion in the universe. It made him want to crumble in a ball on the ground and blink out of existence.

_So much loss. Too much. So empty._

His ship rattled in despair and desolation; lights flickering on and off, the alarms blaring noisily, controls switching on and clicking into place.

The Doctor shot up in panic, dashing in record speed towards the console. He tried in haste to take control without any luck. The TARDIS tilted dangerously to the side as she activated the dematerialisation sequence, knocking the Doctor to the ground in the process. The wheezing and groaning of the TARDIS emitted, signalling that she had landed.

The Doctor immediately tried to get up but struggled with balance as he pulled himself up from the glass floor. As his feet met the ground, he sprinted to the monitor and turned the dials but was only to be met with a blank screen. He banged the machinery in frustration, pulled back and tugged at his bow tie nervously like it was choking him. He paced back and forth, kneading his hand tensely; it was a nervous tick that developed from stress. He was making a habit of doing it.

He was lost in his own thoughts, the pain of the universe still present in his mind. It was quite evident that whatever was behind those doors was the cause of the sudden anarchy in the entirety of time and space and the thought of what it could possibly be properly frightened him. Anything could be behind those door. He literally did not know what to expect. What could cause so much pain to the universe? How could something depress his TARDIS in such a way that it made her feel complete hopelessness? He was very hesitant to venture through. He knew it would be terrible; something utterly horrific and he did not know if he could cope with something that dreadful after the loss of the Ponds and the breaking of his hearts.

His musing was suddenly interrupted by the sound of a door clicking open. He froze and snapped his gaze to the half opened door. The TARDIS obviously wanted him out there to investigate. She already made his decision.

The Doctor moved towards the doors, trepidation consuming his body. His hand reached out to pull the door further in order to reveal the view. As his hand tensely pulled the door towards him, the Doctor's gaze shift to the world outside. Once his sight was set and the scene was clearly present, the Doctor's hearts sunk deep within the pits of his stomach. Out of all the things that were unexpected, nothing could prepare him from the sight in front of him.

"No." He whispered in a state of terror and shock.

_No. Not her. Anyone but her._

The sight before him ripped his hearts apart and turned his blood cold. His fists clench in rage and horror and hearts pounded viciously in his chest. If it not for his rage, the Doctor would've been completely and utterly broken; with nothing and no one having the capability to fix his shattered remains. The sight before him was none other than the figure of Rose Tyler, his precious pink and yellow human, huddled lifelessly in a pool of blood. _Her_ blood.

He didn't know why she was here. He didn't know _how_ she was here. All he knew was that he understood why the universe was in such despair. She was gone, lost. All he could see were the stains of her broken form and all he could feel was the abiding fury rooted to his core.

Rage.

Hot burning rage.

He cursed the universe. He cursed the TARDIS. He cursed the reason for her death. And he cursed the endless loss that he seemed to feel for eternity. His green eyes were dark with bitterness and jaw set with the anger that raged through him. All he could see was red. Pain could not even describe the emotions ravaging through his mind.

He strode over to the limp body, determined to find the cause of her death; to find the cruel, vicious monster whom dared to slaughter his beautiful little flower. How sorry they will be that they dare to awaken the fury of the oncoming storm. He ripped the sonic out of his heavy jacket, scanning her body rapidly but came to a sudden stop at the sound of wailing coming from the hidden arms of Rose Tyler. A little baby being cradled in the arms of their dead mother, umbilical cord still attached and blood smeared on the arms of their mother from the last minute instincts to hold and protect her child. The revelation horrified the Doctor. The guilt slowly seeped into his drowned hearts. The anger and yet pain that he held for that single child. The guilt and remorse. The sorrow and despair.

_It_ is the reason for the suffering of the universe, for the death of his precious Rose. The monster. The thing that separated his true love from him. That removed her life for its own. This...this...this-

This innocent, defenceless _crying_ child. He reached out to the weeping child, detached the umbilical cord with the sonic and cradled the little creature in arms using his jacket as a wrap. The cries started to diminish, only a slight whimper could be heard. The Doctor pulled the little tot closer to his chest and stared deeply at the face of _her_ child. A girl, the Doctor noticed. A tiny gorgeous girl. Little wisps of chocolate brown hair swirled on the top of her head, sweet lips pink as a rose, a cute little button nose and as she opened her eyes the Doctor's hearts melted yet dropped at same time. She had _her_ eyes. Beautiful brown irises with gold swirling through it. He broke.

"I'm sorry. Oh I'm so so sorry. So sorry. Oh please forgive me. I...I...I'm-" He chanted his apology to the small child as he rocked back and forth, weeping for the loss, for his terrible thoughts, for the loneliness and for this young new born who will never be able to see her mother or be in her arms again.

"I'm so sorry. So so sorry-"

He couldn't breathe. There was no air. He choked on his own sobs, cries that have been buried and locked with the need to burst free. He was finally grieving. Grieving the loss that had been stored for centuries. His home. His family. His loved ones. His companions. Everything was pouring out into one massive mess.

_Susan...Patience...The brigadier...Jenny...River Song...Donna...The Ponds...Rose..._

It all plummeted down on him. Everyone he couldn't save, everyone he lost, everyone that turned into monsters because of him.

He was shaking dangerously. He was so vulnerable, so exposed. Stripped down to his very core in front of this sweet child who was unknowingly covered in the blood of her mother. So innocent, so fragile. There were no more tears left, just the whimpers and gasps escaping his lips. He suddenly felt something brush against his hand and then tightly grasp his pointer finger. He looked down at his hand to find a tiny little hand holding his finger. When he was so caught up in his sorrow, he didn't even notice that the small child in his arms stayed calm throughout his entire emotion turmoil, just giving little supportive gurgles of reassurance. Now she held on tightly to the hand of the sad man, trying to help him be better.

The Doctor gave a tired laugh though it sounded more like a raspy cough.

"Just like your mum, you are." He croaked, the wrinkles in his sad eyes showing.

The baby gave a quiet babble in response. The Doctor's old eyes softened, his staggered breaths starting to even out thanks to the respiratory bypass. He took a big gulp of air as he cleared his throat to speak, staring deeply into the familiar and yet foreign eyes of this amazing child. Determination struck upon him.

"No more. No more hurting. No matter what, no matter how, no matter when, I will always be there for you when it matters most and that's a promise. A promise that I will forever do my best to keep. I will never let you slip through my fingers. I will never ever let you get hurt. Never. I will keep you safe till the end of time and I promise...I promise you that you will have a _fantastic_ life."

**AN: And there you have it. Please don't murder me for my cruelty! It took me three brownies, a bowl of ice cream and a block of chocolate to write all of this! If there are any plot holes or gramma and spelling mistakes please notify me, I am totally open to feedback. Oh and don't forget, review! Again I am totally open to feedback and ideas so don't hesitate to give your opinion. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Guilt

**Disclaimer: Yeah. I don't own Doctor Who, sadly BBC does. Damn you Moffat!**

One heart shattered another as fragile as glass. A heart eternally void filled and the other only just holding together by the glue that this child provided. The endurance of his hearts had never been so immense; the weight of the universe compared nothing next to the loss of his angel, his best friend...his one and only love. She was gone and he didn't get the chance to save her; another promise he had broken, another self-vow that he had failed to keep. He couldn't stand seeing her lifeless form anymore nor be in its presence. He had to get away before the darkness and loss fully consumed him. So he did what he does best; he ran.

A coward; one whom could not face the evidence of his loss and could not take the responsibility for caring of it properly. He hated himself for that-no. He _despised_ himself because of it. He could face a whole fleet of Daleks, conquer an entire organisation out to murder him and not to mention cheat his fixed death in time. Hell! He even re-created the entire universe whilst surviving in being written out of existence! But for the life of him, he could never have the guts to bury the body of Rose Marion Tyler. Even the thought of it sends him scurrying away from his mind. And now because of his cowardice, Rose shall have a proper resting place that she truly deserved of nor have a burial with her name on it. The most brilliant human in existence being left behind with a lost identity, utterly alone and all forgotten just because of him.

Because he was a monster.

Determination, from what most likely would be a broken promise, was the only thing keeping him from shutting down his body permanently and blinking out of existence. He now had another life to take care of; one that if ever got hurt or broken, would tear him limb from limb in his chaotic mind. He had to keep this promise. He had to do this for _her_. She deserved that no less.

The Doctor glanced down at the little bundle in his arms as he came midway in his fast journey back to the TARDIS. Such a tiny precious life in his hands. So much innocence before him in this small child, despite the misery and guilt surrounding her. How exposed he has become and in front of this little bundle! So much damage revealed to her and with having no understanding to comprehend it. Her first sight of the world being that in the arms of her dead mother and with the stains of red imprinted on her skin. No child should ever experience such a thing.

It was all his fault.

That's all he could think of.

_All my fault. All my fault. All my fault. All my-_

The Doctor finally arrived at the TARDIS. With one hand holding the precious being wrapped in tweed, he pushed the royal blue doors and entered into the once golden room; now only a dull yellow. The TARDIS' mournful song cascaded through the atmosphere; the weeping of grief and loss sung in a hauntingly beautiful melody of thoughts and emotions. The Old Girl grieved as great as the Doctor; a loss so deep within her soul and a feeling of emptiness encompassing it. She lost so much more than just the companion of her thief; she lost a part of herself. A piece of her soul missing forever; never to return back to her nor to its rightful place. To be lost eternally and be forever impossible to sought.

"I know, Old Girl. I'm so, so sorry." The Doctor whispered, sympathy and guilt dripping with every word. He looked down at the little child that saved one of the last of his hearts and then turned away almost immediately in shame. The look on her face was one of such innocence and peace, contrasting to that of the dirt and blood smeared on her cheeks and body. But yet there was almost a sadness in her eyes; a deep understanding that something or rather _someone _was missing, though she did not know what or who it was. Seeing those familiar eyes so sad and so confused, stung as a reminder of the damage that had been caused. And just as he always did, the lonely angel placed all the blame upon himself.

"I couldn't save her and it's all my fault. All my fault! I'm a monster! I can never save! I always destroy! Always! Am I even a good man anymore? Because everything I do, everything touch, everything and everybody I love, I ruin in the end..." The Doctor glanced down at the small baby in his arms; her delicate skin raw with blood, matted hair muddy and sticky, and her body stigmatised with that of the loss of her own mother. Just another soon to be victim that has befallen before the Destroyer of All Worlds, because that was just who he was. A destroyer. The Oncoming Storm. Murderer of his own world, of his own species. He's not the Doctor. He doesn't deserve a name that brings hope. Not when all he brings is chaos.

"I'm so sorry. You don't deserve any of this! So, so young and already so alone, with nothing but an old, selfish man left to save you. A man who can't even live up to his own name! Why-_how_ can you find any hope in me? It is all but expired. Time has been nothing but ruthless in its reverence of crushing hope in my life!" The Doctor vented desperately, holding to the last of his self-control by the skin of his teeth.

He sighed, tired of such loss and self-hatred.

"Everything has its time and everything dies." An old voice spoke of.

There were no such words more true...and he hated it.

* * *

Lather. Scrub. Rinse. Repeat.

_Lather. Scrub. Rinse. Repeat._

He'd been doing it for over an hour now; the mantra giving him only a tether of what was left of his sanity whilst he washed the spotless child in a small sink tub.

_Lather. Scrub. Rinse. Repeat._

He should've stopped a while ago; should've but couldn't. The thought of seeing _her_ blood again, to see the image of _her_ lifeless body, sent him into a constant loop of oblivion. The repetition of a broken mind; a broken soul.

_Lather. Scrub. Rinse. Repeat._

His hands, the only indication of his true age; wrinkled and raw from the vehement scrubbing, worked tirelessly to rid himself of the haunts and loss that stained his skin. The water had long since grown cold, numbing any feeling that was left in his hands.

_Lather. Scrub. Rinse. Repeat._

Perhaps he should stop. The water was cold after all._  
_

_Lather. Scrub. Rinse. Repeat._

He definitely should stop. He _needs _to_-_

_Lather. Scrub. Rinse. Repeat._

Why can't he? Why c-ca...Why! Wh-

_Lather. Scrub. Rinse. Repeat._

Stop it. Stop. Stop! ST-

_Lather. Scrub. Rinse. Repeat_

No. No! Just-

_Lather. Scrub. Rinse. Re-_

"No more!"

The water stilled. The air became silent, all bar the sound of a small baby's whimper and the heavy breathes of a shattered man. With shaky hands, he rid himself of the weapons in which were destructing his sanity. The soap and loofah were dropped simultaneously and hit the ground with an instant thud. He quickly grabbed the handle of the plug and ripped it out roughly. As the cold dirty water gurgled down the drain, the Time Lord reached out quickly to get a towel to wrap the shrivelled up baby. Shivering not as much from the chill, the baby was relieved to feel the warmth of a dry towel securely surrounding her and nuzzled into the arms of her protector.

Tears were not something that appeared regularly upon the Time Lord, in fact he tended to stray away from such ridiculous things lest he eternally breaks into a fit of them. However, on this dreadfully sad night, the Time Lord was reduced just to that at the sight of such a beautiful creature, taking refuge in his heavy arms. It reminded him sorely of the promise that he had made to her and how sure he was that he would fail to fulfil it. To disappoint and fail her. But, it made him think; if he could protect one thing, if he could make one person in this entire universe happy, it would be this little one. This little bundle of joy and hope in his darkest day. Giving him that tiny spark of assurance that maybe one day he will no longer feel as empty than what he did on this cruel night. That maybe one day, he shall feel happy and no longer alone. They were such selfish thoughts but he couldn't help but yearn for them. He had grown so tired and so old, that usually a day like this would have pushed him over the edge and made him completely lose himself. And yet, while he'd been so close to doing just that, there was one thing that prevented him in doing so. This little girl. His light.

"My Hope. The little girl who saved me from darkness." He whispered in admiration, eyes fixed on the delicate face of the wonderful child; eyes with such warmth, tiny round nose and pink pouty lips. He will do everything it takes to keep his promise. Everything and _anything _he can ever do, just so he can see this face everyday; so very serene and so very _alive_.

It was with that thought in which the paranoia sprouted. With every worry and every fear of all that was, all that is and all that could be hurtful to this child, the Time Lord rushed to the Medical Bay in record time to do every sort of test and examination possible in order to ensure the safety of his precious Hope.

* * *

The Time Lord stared at the screen blankly; a mixture of awe, confusion and dare he say hope stirring a concoction in his stomach.

"What? B-but..." The Time Lord stuttered.

Hope was perfectly healthy, in fact, none of the previous events caused any harm despite the carelessness of her well being. This was not what the Time Lord was gaping at though. For the screen did not display the health examinations of the child, no, but rather it was the examination results of the structural components and genetic mutation in the composition of her DNA.

**Human/Gallifreyan Hybrid**

**Human 40.1596985%**

**Gallifreyan 59.8403015%**

"...thats impossible!" He whispered loudly in shock. He knew, of course, that his duplicate would've most likely gotten together with Rose and that the possibility of them having a baby was fairly likely, but what he didn't understand was how the couple could have possibly reproduced a child with dominant _Gallifreyan_ genetics. The meta-crisis was barely half Time Lord and Rose was completely human! The calculations that this child could have ever possibly existed were astronomically impossible (unless the paternal father had actually been...no; not possible, completely preposterous!) and yet here he was; staring deeply at the evidence whom defied the impossible.

"Oh, you brilliant girl! Still keep surprising me, you do. Always shining and always finding hope, even in someone like me." He praised wistfully, his eyes glazed with glistening tears. The Time Lord reached out carefully to gather the little girl from the examination table. Oh, she was so young and so very tiny; so easy to break and hurt. He couldn't have that happen. He couldn't have his saviour ripped away from him otherwise he might truly crack and shatter into a million pieces. She was still saving him and will forever keep him in tact as long as she was with him and he with her. They were dependent on each other; both not being able to care for themselves but somehow being able to care for one another. A vulnerable and lost pair exhausted of heartbreak, tragedy and loss and yet they're still so very alive and have hope for what's to come.

The child of hope yawned in the arms rocking her, being grown so tired from the nights exhausting events. The Time Lord glanced at the sleepy figure drifting in and out sleep, eyes softening at the tired eyes she possessed. Not wanting to disturb her, the Time Lord slowly walked to the hallways in search for a nursery whilst rocking the child to sleep. Luckily, the TARDIS so very kindly provided the door to the nursery, which she recently created, very close to the exhausted pair. It did not take them long to reach it and with one arm rocking the child, the Time Lord opened the door with a swift click.

The room was a fairly simple one, aside from the holographic projection of the Andromeda Galaxy; the walls a soft purple, a dresser to the left with a changing table right next to it all fully stocked, a white wooden rocking chair in the right hand corner and in the back of the room...a very, _very _familiar cot. The Time Lord gulped and cursed the TARDIS, trying to hold back the tears and the memories that were resurfacing. Memories that he weren't particularly fond of. There it was, standing blue with stars up above, circles interwoven in a beautiful art which only one man in the entire universe could interpret as a language and speak it, and the grainy wood aged with stories, memories and emotions; some happy, some sad and some that one could barely bear. The Time Lord sighed and walked on. There was no time for nostalgia. He had to get this sleeping beauty off to bed.

Rocking his arms gently, the Time Lord slowly made his way over to the changing table in which he lowered the sleeping girl onto in order to get her dress. With soft and gentle movements as if he was caressing a butterfly, the Time Lord dried Hope and dressed her in soft pink jim jams as well as putting her in a clean nappy. When he finished this test of patience, he then proceeded to pick her up tenderly to not disturb her rest. Hope was almost in his arms when she then decided to stir and gave out a small cry. The Time Lord immediately froze and then instantaneously embraced the small child into his weary arms, trying to provide as much security and comfort for the tiny, vulnerable being.

"Shh. There, there. It's okay. You're going to be okay, I promise. It's going to be tough though and trust me, I know it will be. It's going to be really hard in the next days, months, years...every minute will be a struggle. But I promised you a fantastic life and I will strive everything to achieve that, even with my last dying breath. So you, my little Hope, you _will_ have a fantastic life. Even when it seems that there's no possibility of having it, those times when you feel so down and so hopeless, I will always bring you back up, always make you find hope when you can't and always make you feel happy and safe in my arms, because I owe you that. You did all of that for me, and in only one night; the darkest of all nights. You saved me, Hope. You saved me. The least that I can do is return the favour. I-I don't...I d-don't know what I would've-" The Time Lord cut himself off as he looked down and saw the little girl who saved his life, sleeping soundly his arms. He sighed. She looked so peaceful.

"...done without you." He whispered.

The Time Lord walked over to the small blue cot in which haunted his memories of the Ponds and placed the sleeping child in it gently.

"Sweet dreams, my little Hope. You have a big life ahead of you and its going to be fantastic." He bid her softly goodnight, whilst tucking her under the covers. The Time Lord then walked away quietly, careful not to make heavy footsteps, until he stopped at the doorway and turned around. He stared wistfully at the peaceful child, tired eyes closing with grief as he leant against the frame of the door.

"I'm so sorry, Hope. So sorry." He exhaled painfully and then closed the door with a resounding click.

* * *

The Time Lord strode restlessly into the console room; the lights still a sombre yellow and the golden metal dull and dark. The Time Lord sighed yet again, tiresome and dreary. He's just about fed up with all the grief pulsating through his weary body and mind.

"Time to go, Old Girl. Time to move on."

The Time Lord set the controls for a course in the Time Vortex. He moved around the console stagnantly and sluggishly, pulling the atom accelerator, pushing the space-time throttle and switching the zigzag plotter, when suddenly the Time Lord came to an absolute halt.

He stood there, blood totally frozen, hands shaking rapidly and hearts completely stopped.

The door was still open.

Only slightly, but enough to perfectly see the lifeless corpse of his pink and yellow human.

The Time Lord broke.

A choked scream reverberated through the entire room, the sobs so harsh and so gut-wrenching that even his bypass system could do nothing for his struggling breaths. His whole body shivered feverishly in pain, sorrow, grief and rage. Rage. Rage.

_Rage_.

The TARDIS wept for her distraught Time Lord and then did all she could to contain his wrath. She sound proofed the walls, shut and deadlocked the doors and then sent herself into the Time Vortex; away from anything that the Time Lord could potentially destruct in his grieving fury. She let him release his anger and grief. A millennia's worth of pent up emotion, all shattered and released in an atomic explosion of fury. It could've been years, months, decades even minutes that this suffering relented for, even the Time Lord couldn't tell. But the Time Lord's emotional fit eventually came to end by the command of the TARDIS. It was the point of where her thief was becoming self-destructive in which she declared no more and sent her companion to sleep telepathically, teleporting him to his bed and locking his door until he came back to his senses.

The TARDIS sung out a mournful and frustrated cry to the universe. Her Time Lord was so broken, almost irreparable. There was only minuscule hope that he could ever be fixed again. The child. His saviour. The girl who brought him light. His little Hope being the only thing that can save the him completely from himself, otherwise the whole universe might just end up in chaos. She will need to fix him, to save him from his self-hatred and his shattered hearts.

She will help the Time Lord become the Doctor once again. She _must_.

**AN: And it is done! If there are any mistakes or any recommendations needed for my consideration, I am open to all feedback! So please if it's really sucky, tell me about and help me any way possible to make it less sucky. I don't know when I will post the next chapter but I am definitely not giving up on this. I have the whole storyline plan and structure all set out and I really love this story idea. So keep on following, keep on reviewing and keep on believing!**


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